Episode 12

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Published on:

31st Mar 2025

Managing Two Hats - The Challenges of Coaching Your Own Child

Navigating the Dual Role: Parent and Coach

In this episode of Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations, host Valerie Alston discusses the unique challenges of having a parent as a coach with her father, who coached her in softball. They explore the balance between supportive parenting and effective coaching, the importance of not placing limits on young athletes, and the value of perseverance and hard work. This episode is filled with real-life experiences and practical wisdom for sports parents, coaches, and athletes aiming to build stronger relationships and lifelong skills. The discussion also includes tips on handling mistakes and fostering an environment where young athletes can thrive. Tune in for an insightful conversation that can shift perspectives on success, effort, and potential in sports.

00:00 Introduction: The Parent-Coach Dynamic

01:23 Balancing Roles: Parent vs. Coach

03:03 Challenges and Strategies in Coaching Your Own Child

04:09 Encouraging Potential Without Limits

05:14 The Importance of Fair Play and Hard Work

08:37 Balancing Support and Pressure

12:08 Handling Mistakes and Building Resilience

16:55 Interactive Discussion Questions

19:33 Conclusion and Final Thoughts


Discussion questions:

  1. What does it mean to “earn your spot” on a team? How does it feel when someone gets a position because of hard work versus because of who they are (like being the coach's kid)?
  2. When is it helpful to be pushed—and when is it too much? Can you think of a time when a parent or coach pushed you in a way that helped? Or a time when it felt overwhelming?
  3. How do you bounce back after a mistake in a game? What kind of support do you need in those moments—coaching, space, encouragement?
  4. What’s one position or role on a team that you’re curious about or want to try, even if it’s not your usual spot? How could you start working toward being ready for that challenge?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

👉 for weekly tips, mindset shifts, and conversations that help you and your athlete stay confident, calm, and clutch—no matter the scoreboard subscribe to me newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on being and effective youth sport coach, buy my book "How to Teach Mental Skills to Athletes" https://amzn.to/45MSgWU


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About the Podcast

Car Ride Conversations
Conversation prompts for building mentally tough young athletes while you drive
Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations – the ultimate podcast for parents, coaches, and young athletes who want to unlock the secrets to mental toughness, confidence, and resilience. Whether you're on your way to practice, a big game, or just tackling the daily grind, these bite-sized episodes are designed to spark meaningful conversations to equip young athletes with actionable tools to thrive in school, sports and life while building strong relationships with their parents, one car ride at a time.

Hosted by Valerie Alston, former D1 athlete, sport psychology expert, and resilience coach, each episode dives into key topics like building self-belief, staying calm under pressure, and bouncing back from setbacks. With real-life stories, practical tips, and relatable insights, you'll discover how to support your athlete's journey while strengthening your connection along the way.

Buckle up and join us for a ride full of inspiration, growth, and the skills needed to become Confident, Calm, and Clutch!
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About your host

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Valerie Alston

Drawing from a rich background as a former D1 softball player and a Certified Mental Performance Consultant, she boasts over 15 years of experience dedicated to teaching and training Soldiers in the intricate art of mental toughness and resilience. As a distinguished author and coach, she brings a unique perspective to the realm of performance enhancement. Currently, her passion lies in empowering today's youth, leveraging her expertise to build and foster resilience through sports and mental toughness training, ensuring the next generation thrives in both their athletic pursuits and broader life challenges. With a comprehensive approach to athlete development, she extends her expertise to parents and coaches. Committed to enhancing understanding, she collaborates with them to impart valuable insights on building the mental toughness of young athletes, fostering an environment that nurtures resilience and unleashes their full potential.